Mx. Pixie's Mission: Action

Spilling hot coffee on my chest woke me up

Gonna try writing weekly to see what happens. This week, I worked through a big mental obstacle. One of the big challenges I have been having is teaching my ELD 1 and 2 class. I love these students!! I have accidentally called them “my son” or “my daughter” when I talk about them to people; and they have accidentally called me “tia”. I really care about them, and want to provide them the education they deserve, but struggle to do so.

I see these students 10 hours a week, every week, and some I have had for two year. I see them more than I see anyone else in my life, and for them, I am the adult they spend the most time with outside of their family. For some who are unaccompanied minors, I am the only adult they see this much.

For the longest time, I didn’t know what term to use to describe these students. They are not typical ELD students. ELD stands for English Language Development. These classes start in kindergarten onwards, and are separate classes for students whose home language or primary language is not English.

People who understand the school system know to lie and put your home language is English even if you’re not because you will be immediately separated from the mainstream students; given boring, standardized reading support with no research that says its effective; and won’t be allowed to join back until you pass a super hard standardized test called the ELPAC that most native English speakers won’t be able to pass.

This test can trap students, preventing them from graduating on time, or from graduating, as at my high school - this ELD class does not count as one of the four years of English Language Arts (ELA) required for graduation. Thus, after people making fun of them for being “dumb” for years, they just drop out.

Basically if the student has not transferred out by middle school, they will most likely not graduate on time. Even if they do transfer out, they will continue to struggle in their ELA classes and most likely graduate high school thinking they are not good at reading and writing.

Those are not the students I have in my class. I have international newcomers. They come from nine different countries and speak thirteen different languages. Some studied English and are trapped in my class because they couldn’t read or write well; some barely speak a word of English. They are 14 to 18 from a variety of socio-economic backgrounds.

And I am responsible for teaching them English for two hours every day for a whole year.

This is my second year teaching the class, and boy is it challenging - challenging to get the training and resources I need to teach the curriculum, and challenging to have the time to do the work given the 9th grade and 12th grade curriculums I am also responsible for working with many students with individualized education plans.

Last year, after trying to get support, I was told, “No one is watching your class because ELD 1 and 2 students are not really monitored by the district, do what you need to do.”

I listened. “Everything is going amazing” in the class, while watching four seasons of Cobra Kai. We got through the year, but I felt so guilty. This is not the education they deserved!

This year, those students - while their speaking and listening is great, their reading and writing is still so minimal. I wanted to do better for them.

I spoke up, and now all eyes are watching this class. My job is now on the line, as my vice-principal is reporting on this class as part of my teacher evaluation. If I do not improve in four growth areas, they might not keep me.

I tried to get her to evaluate one of my 9th or 12th classes, because last year- I passed my teacher evaluation the first time. She said, “Nope! This is the only class you teach without a co-teacher. You need to focus on this class.”

Well, it’s good to know what to focus on. There is no escape, only through.

To grow and learn for this class, I attended an International Newcomer Conference, read a book on supporting ELs, read all of the legal policies on the ELD program, spent 3 hours working with the new teacher specialist on my curriculum, and met with my vice-principal to get her feedback on how to teach.

The meeting with the vice-principal was this week. I was nervous, but it went as well as could be. She was supportive. Legally, it’s up to my ELD Coordinator to decide what type of curriculum and program we have here. My ELD Coordinator does not care at all and does not visit my class except to administer tests.

It is up to me, and some how I need to meet the needs of my ELD 1s and 2s. My follow up evaluation is end of February.

I am doing some textbook work, but have decided to teach English through movies. Someone in my Masters is doing the same. We watched Love and Basketball; they loved it. I am making the curriculum and strategies day-by-day. It is stressful and not perfect, but it is happening. We are learning together.

I have gone through my fear of being fired, my feeling that I am not good enough to do this, and that what I create will not be good enough for them.

And I am going to try to accept the discomfort, and let into it. Especially after spilling hot coffee on my chest and fearing third degree burns. This huge red patch! Luckily just first and is now gone, but in that moment, I realized I needed to chill out and enjoy the journey - or I would just make it worse.

Well, the week starts again! Speak next week. Thank you for reading.

Any advice on how to teach ESL? Send my way!

Love you lots! Would love to hear how your journey going.

Sammy